million little pieces

to help me remember things I don't wanna forget.

Month: April, 2009

hati berdegup kencang minta dibersihkan

ohh yes dull time gives us moment to explore and reflect upon ourselves.

Looking back at where I was 8 years ago, the only thing I miss was moment spent with my friend during band, during English drama, during teater rumah, during film show, ohh and so many many many more. No one was really alim at that time, jogging pakai cap, amek share kat dining hall main grab tudung sapesape, pegi surau free hair, short sleeves..

Don’t really give a thought about tazkirah or usrah every week. Don’t really care when they said after you left high school you’ll be on your own and responsible on every action you take. Of course I remember the attempt made to escape usrah adelah. I thought that was who we are and we will always be like that. .
I didn’t think of this until I read fansu’s blog. We were dormates, we were classmates, we fought, we shared things, and we stood on the same ground until we separated after spm. She took her own path studying abroad and I thought she’ll stay her, the same fansu.

Well she’s not fansu anymore, she’s alim now, she speaks word of wisdom, reminding us of who we are di bumi ni. And I said to myself ” god gile alim fansu, what the hell happened to her, what makes her change” in a tone as if it’s a bad thing. Well this morning I realised it is me who stays the same without any attempt to improve myself [akidah wise – nope I don’t recall anything]. It is the same old me who tried to escape usrah during first year and went on 2nd year without any reminder and guidance. It is me who’s been sombong hidung tinggi thinking that I can live life without His barakah.

I choose this path. Being ignorant, lazy, arrogant, no wonder I always lost. Dream without realization. Practising without knowing. Doing without understanding. I have chosen the wrong path. I have forgotten my destination. I didn’t aware who have I become. The road to kebaikan is just next to me. What makes hati berat menerima dan kaki berat melangkah?

temoh take time to think, paksa diri okay, cuba.

This is not a monthly module where test awaits and every end. It takes your whole life to learn and practise jadi bersabarlah.

Cuba lagi.

Cuba lagi


greys anatomy est super bien!

I heart greys anatomy!

owh ga is the best show ever. It’s real, full of drama and it gives you hope, admitting that life is imperfect and there’s no reason for you to keep going but you still have to go and its worth trying. Even though friendship will not always be uphill but you still stand for each other should one of you fall. They dare to explore their feelings and admit that they care about someone even though hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan because when it comes to caring about someone it’s something you can’t halt.

Love can be unconditional yet still practical. You can shout and be mad at someone and yet you can still go cry on that person the next day [not exactly the next day act]

Take it from George and izzie. It’s beautiful when you mad at someone because you love them too much and it’s not love shared by man and woman, it’s love shared by two people called best friend. You let your soulmate leave knowing that he’ll come back to you

Life sometimes is not about thinking and does everything right but to be explored and learn from mistakes. Love is not about mushy mushy but a feeling of wanting the person you love do the best in whatever ways it take.

Meredith is dark and twisty and broken inside but she found the man she loves whom she inspires

can there be a bertudung actress in hollowood? im looking forward to be one.

the ungrateful side of me

I am still staring at the laptop figuring out what to do.

Went on without astro, internet, movies, and fast food for almost 3 weeks and I thought today at this very lucky day where I discovered my dial up connection is usable, would be the saviour of my boredom and ohh and guess what, it is not. DAMN

I’ve got headache due to excessive sleeping and believe me my excessive means way too much in your dictionary [around 12 hours anyone?]

Rosyam nor is searching for a new talent and my heart skips a beat every time his ads appear on TV. Gosh, am I too late?

Boredom and dull time gives us time to reflect on ourselves and my reflection time would mostly be spent grieving on my loneliness of my single life, how sad and pathetic.

I heart mc steamy.
I heart George o’malley.
I heart Derek shepherd.
I heart alex karev.